Issue13.js

Penis.js and Vagina.js as an NPM package, plus three new libraries, Hole.js, Ass.js and Mouth.js.

Installation

npm install issue13

or

yarn add issue13

or

pnpm add issue13

importing

var penis = require('issue13/penis')
var vagina = require('issue13/vagina')
var Hole = require('issue13/hole')
var Ass = require('issue13/ass')
var mouth = require('issue13/mouth')

Included libraries.

Penis.js

Read about Penis.js here.

Vagina.js

Read about Vagina.js here.

Hole.js

Hole.js is a simple structure that is used by Ass.js and Mouth.js. The constructor takes one function, that takes one parameter, and is called whenever the pushIn method on the hole is called with the argument passed in to the pushIn method.

var Hole = require('issue13/hole')
var hole = new Hole(function (thing) {
  console.log(thing)
})

hole.pushIn('test') // outputs "test" to console

Ass.js

Ass.js is an alternative to Vagina.js.

Using Vagina.js:

var vagina = require('issue13/vagina')

vagina.sth = "hi"
console.log(vagina.sth) // hi
vagina = {}
console.log(vagina.sth) // undefined

Using Ass.js:

var Ass = require('issue13/ass')
var ass = new Ass()

ass.open()
ass.shove('sth', 'hi')
console.log(ass.contents.sth) // hi
ass.wipe()
console.log(ass.contents.sth) // undefined
ass.close()

Pros of Ass.js:

• Has to be opened with ass.open() for safety before shoving things in.
• Dedicated methods for setting properties and clearing the ass.
• Is a class so you can use your own ass every time.

Cons of Ass.js:

• +ass does not return pi.

Pros of Vagina.js:

• +vagina returns pi.

Cons of Vagina.js:

• No dedicated methods except the valueOf method which returns pi.
• Not a class.
• When you reset it you have to do vagina = {} which gets rid of the valueOf method so you can't get pi with +vagina anymore.

Mouth.js

Mouth.js has an eat method which returns an empty version of the given thing.

var mouth = require('issue13/mouth')

console.log(mouth.eat("hi")) // ""
console.log(mouth.eat([4, "bob"])) // []
console.log(mouth.eat(1)) // 0
console.log(mouth.eat({ foo: 'bar' })) // {}