Commitlander 1.1.2

Simple CLI that displays horrible workflow practices using zoolander quotes

Instead of writing useful commit messages, why not use zoolander quotes! This package simply commits a git directory with a quote from zoolander. Adding new ones is as easy as updating a array in lib/quotes.

Doesn't work on anything that doesn't have bash. Windows users encouraged to fix.

Install

npm install -g commitlander

Usage

• cd some-git-project && git add -A
• commitlander
• commited: "At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking."

Quotes

• "Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.",

• "I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.",

• "I think I’m getting the Black Lung, Pop.",

• "Why you been acting so messed up towards me?",

• "You think that you’re too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite… you aren’t.",

• "At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.",

• "There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.",

• "Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful, I think.",

• "I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.",

• "Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.",

• "But why male models?",

• "What say we settle this on the runway... Han-Solo?",

• "Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?...A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals...Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?",

• " Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.",

• " Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career.",

• How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?",

• "What is this? A center for ants?",

• "I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this! ",

• "Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back.",

• "You can read minds?",

• "[looking at the sky] Who am I?... [phone rings] God?",

• "Earth to Matilda, this phone is as much a part of me as...Uh, no, I don't think you do. Listen, it's not like we think that we're actually in a control tower trying to reach outer space aliens or something. Okay?"

Authors

• Austin Turnage wookiecooking
• Gal Azencot balzohrd

License

   DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE
                    Version 2, December 2004

 Copyright (C) FUCK YOU

 Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim or modified
 copies of this license document, and changing it is allowed as long
 as the name is changed.

            DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE
   TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION AND MODIFICATION

  0. You just DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO.